4am
Leaning
on a lamppost
Sobering
up
Waiting
for the Night Bus
tired
The
blur of street lights
Neon
shop lights
Car
lights
Bus
lights
Taxi
lights
Pub
lights
Bar
lights
Club
lights
Fade
Yet
focus
my
increasing sobriety
Allows
me to notice
the
decreasing glare
Or
frequency of movement
a city
no longer abuzz
Sleeps
It
dawns on me no more buses will come
Stranded
The
warmth and welcome of my bed a pipedream
I
turn for a look in vain at the timetable
lumbering
dozily to the shadows of the bus shelter
I
spy
For
the first time
A
girl
And
smile
As
friendly
And
asexual as possible
in
attempt to make clear my non-threatening presence
short
of saying “Don’t worry, I’m not a rapist”
Which
I’d
imagine
would
do nought to allay her concerns
I hesitate
To
make
conversation
of
our obvious predicament
Not
wanting to add to her troubles
giving
her some creep to contend with
“I think we might have missed them all”
I
offer
“hmm”
She
replies, understandably
“where
you heading?”
I
venture
Same
place as me it turns out
“You
reckon we should get a taxi?”
I
suggest, practically
By
now I’ve noticed how pretty her face is
“I
might just wait a bit longer”
She
answers
voice
as light as a feather
An
engine is heard
A
taxi appears
“I
think I’m gona get this,” I say
“you’re
welcome to join me”
She
looks to the corner
No
bus
A
glance at the timetable
uncertain
Again
to the corner
No
bus
The
taxi approaches
“I’ve
got no money”
And
passes
“neither
have I”
Side
by side
At
the holes in the wall
we
chat about this
and
laugh about that
like
long-time friends
before
I’m
even aware
we’re
in a taxi, halfway home
we
talk of books we’ve read
and
those we haven’t but intend to
and
lie about the intention of reading ones we haven’t
but
the other has
she
enthuses of exhibitions she plans to see
and
plays she’ll go to
while
I take great pleasure in having already been
and
telling her so
allowing
myself an air of the cultured
Not
wanting to leer through the darkness of the taxi
I’ve
kept eyes front
Or
out on the street
Up
to now
though
perpetual laughter
Forces
a glance
to
find
with
each streak of streetlight
scanning
her face
she’s
looking right at me
smiling
eyes
bright
teeth
white
engaged
We
arrive where we like
Split
the fare and alight
“Right,
I’m that way”
She
points in the direction I’m not
The
taxi pulls away and leaves us
alone
The
only two awake in the world
We
face each other
Walking
backwards
“ok,
well, I’ll see you later”
Should
I hug her?
“yeh,
thanks for getting me home”
I’ve
remained gentlemanly up to now
And
have no intention of sullying it
“no
worries. See you in a bit”
“see
yer”
We slowly
turn round
Kind
of waving
Both
smiling
Seeking
any excuse to talk
“get
home safe”
“you
too”
We
laugh again
Backs
to each other
We
walk away
Further
down the road
A
movie-style climactic scene
Springs
to mind
I
should run back
get
her number
we
might kiss
fall
in love
from
a chance meeting
fate
surely
has
set this up for us
sinful
to
show
such
blasé ignorance
of
blatant transcendent gift-wrapped romance
I
don’t
I
choose instead to appreciate
The
perfect nature of the encounter
For
what it was
How
we laughed
For
one taxi ride
Her
opinion of me untarnished
Forever
The
boy in the taxi
Who
liked stuff she liked
A
faultless performance
Never
touched each other
Never
got close
Never
grew complicated
Never
fell out
Never
hated each other
Never
broke up
Who
knows
Maybe
I’ll bump into her
Around
and about
One
day
And
we’ll carry on
Maybe
But
maybe that’d ruin it
