Assessment of my work.

Creative Writing Advanced – Jim Coyle.


Jim has produced three outstanding short stories in his portfolio for the Advanced Course. In his work he demonstrates real mastery of his craft, having produced at least two previous drafts of each piece, therefore demonstrating a real awareness of the necessity and value of revising and editing his work which certainly pays off in his finished versions.

Jim’s creation of setting is excellent. The descriptions of interiors: the café, the bedroom and the classroom are strong and Jim works well with the changing atmospheres of the various locations to enhance and accentuate the mood from light to slightly uneasy and in a couple of places, brooding and quite dark.

The narrative voices that Jim has used are the first person close and the third person and both work very well, according to the subject matter of all three pieces. They remain consistent and strong throughout the writing. The reader is simultaneously an observer and yet close enough to identify with the central character throughout. His use of internal monologue is also creatively and thoughtfully employed. In ‘The Café,’ for example, the reader feels every uncomfortable moment as the main character tries to avoid seeing the girl with whom he had an encounter the night before. There is also a real feel for humour in Jim’s writing. He keeps it stylish and light considering that he often deals with quite dark subject matter. He also makes effective use of foreshadowing, especially in ‘The Scribbler,’ and his personification of inanimate objects especially with his use of unusual qualifiers, ‘an enthusiastic can of ravioli,’ for example. This sort of device is what makes Jim’s voice his own and helps the reader feel that they are in the hands of a writer who understands his craft. His use of dialogue is convincing and works well within the stories, acting as it does, to make the reader believe in the scenarios and their make-up. It was noted that the scenes under the clock and in the classroom demonstrated Jim’s command of dialogue particularly well.

There are also just the right amount of characters for short stories of this length. This ensures that the reader never loses focus or becomes lost in abstraction and keeps the plots sharp. The central characters in ‘Under The Big Clock,’ and ‘The Café’ (whose names we never discover), remain the objects of the reader’s interest throughout – the lack of names for the narrators is a clever device as the reader can put him/herself into their shoes and identify with their dilemmas very convincingly.

Jim writes with confidence and his observance of detail and evident understanding of his chosen genre stands out in his work making it eminently and satisfyingly readable. He has obviously developed a good understanding of the workings of the modern short story and builds atmosphere and mood with a sure touch.

The beginnings and endings of the stories are excellent – throughout his work, Jim has developed the technique of showing and not telling – the agonising carrier bag handles in ‘Under The Clock,’ are an excellently conceived motif and extended metaphor for the narrator’s painful relationship with the advantage-taking Barry. By the time the reader reaches the final lines he/she is made to reflect on the subtlety and irony of the real-life ending . Again Jim has shown that he can handle plot with a good deal of guile and subtlety. He has a talent for making the ordinary into the extraordinary.


Suggestions:

It was felt that Jim should certainly continue to write and perfect his style. The skills he has learned on the course have obviously been put to excellent use. Publication would appear to be a real possibility should he wish to pursue it and it was recommended that he approach a publisher such as Comma Press in Manchester.

All in all however, these were felt to be beautifully written pieces which engaged the reader from the start. Jim is to be commended on his sharpness of style and natural flair for storytelling.

Again, an outstanding portfolio.


Originality of ideas 17
Control of language 16
Organization and structure to convey meaning 16
Mechanics 16
Attempt at trying something new 16

Final mark

81 - Distinction