Bus Rider

Late one Friday, catching the bus

Young hot girl starts looking at us

Ask her for a drink, yeh I don’t make a fuss

She rolls her eyes

Says I won’t tell a lie

I don’t date guys who ride on the bus.

I think for a minute like that’s a bit rich

You’re here sitting on the 76

What you on about, are you taking the piss?

She looks me over

Shrugs her shoulders

Says I’m just confident, not a bitch.

I’m looking for a guy with a little more class

Not a scruffy get with a weekly pass.

I’m like jeez, how’s that for a kick in the ass

So I say fair dos

But I’m looking at yous

And I’ll give you all my compliments, en masse.

5 minutes later, riding the bus

Young hot girl won’t stop kissing us

Get off at her stop without making a fuss

Say shall I come over?

She says it’s over

I don’t shag guys who ride on the bus

I ran through heaven right into a brick wall

Started with nothing now I’m getting fuck all

Tell her a minute ago we’re having a ball

She strokes my face

Not the time or the place

Says I want a real man or nothing at all

Well woe betide

I buy a daily rider

Just to save a fiver, or something

If I can get inside her by bluffing

She’ll get a MegaRider or nothing

But more’s the pity

Who the hell am I kidding?

She wants a suped-up rider sub-woofin

Maybe one day when you’re driving a car

You can take me on holidays

Or take me to bars

If you gave me some action, I could take you to Mars

But she kisses my cheek

Says I’ll see you next week

“You might not have money but you’ve still got your charm”

I think fucking hell you patronising bitch

We were both there sitting on the 76

“Yeh I might not be loaded but I’m morally rich”

“Oh! Morals, do yer?

I can see right through yer

Give me all the chat so you can look at my tits”

Wait a minute! You’ve got me all wrong

10 minutes ago we were getting along

Let’s just rewind and start from square one

Hey nice to meet you, can I sit beside yer?

My name’s Jimbo, paid up bus rider

Yeh, I’m not that keen on it either

But town and back for less than a fiver

It’s a steal

Let me shout you a meal

Kansas Chicken or whatever you feel

chuck in a Vimto as part of the deal

Let’s go to a disco or whatever appeals

I’m easy

Not remotely sleazy

Borrow my jacket, here you look freezing.

Hold my hands up, pissed, I got cocky

Ahead of myself, and my manners were shocking

I’m sorry

Can I get under your brolly?

You’re an alien, I’m a nobody

Some folk say I talk too much

I’m talking shit, I’m double-Dutch

Just hold my hand and shut me up

I’m on demand if that’s enough

Just pause it

Late one Friday, out on the street

numb stargazing, dying to speak

dumb heartbreaking kiss on the cheek

whatever that means

Heaven in black jeans

Same bus, same time, every week