Waiting for a beating

Waiting for a beating

I can’t wait to meet him

So I don’t have to spend my whole life

Waiting for a beating

Wonder how I’ll greet him

When I finally meet him

Take my glasses off, perhaps

Maybe lay down some sheeting

I’m expecting a bloodbath

Onlookers have a good laugh

A bunch of nosey fuckers

All revel in my comeuppance

Yeh, my uppercut’s a bit naff

But I’m up for a grudge match

He’s Rocky 3, I’m Clubber Lang

He’s 6 foot 3, down with a bang

Don’t want no anti-climax

Just a busted nose, an eye black

I’m not gona sugar-coat it

Imma kick his ass and smoke it

Now let’s not get carried away

You shit yourself the other day

When someone looked quite like him.

Saw a bush and jumped inside it

Stayed in there Monday through Friday

Check your balls I think they’re hiding

At the worst, I’ll get a hiding

Dent my ego, kick my pride in

But I’ll focus on the plus side

When I’m bleeding on the inside

Seeing stars lay on the ground

Thinking I look quite profound

Just how God loves all the tryers

The onlookers now admire us

Free cold pint of beer beside us

And some female sympathisers

Maybe it won’t be so bad

He’s every right for feeling mad

I kissed the girls and made them cry

And disrespected a cool guy

Now all the boys come out to play

I don’t intend to run away

It won’t feel right to swerve it

When I probably deserve it

So with open arms I’ll greet him

When I’m waiting for my beating