Monstrosity

Jack

looked down

At the body he’d been working on

For months

And was horrified

By what he’d created.

 

His aim

To sculpt himself

as an

irresistible

magnet for girls

Had gone way beyond

The original blueprint.

 

Solid lumps

In all the wrong places

Necks

Wider than faces

He vowed

To lay off the

whey protein.

 

How had he let this happen?

 

The buttons on his shirt

Held on

For dear life

To the button holes

They had no business

Reaching

In the first place.

He pulled hard

At the collar

Desperate to fasten the top button

to look smart

Too muscley to look smart?

Shit.

The more he strained

The more his neck bulged

Widening the gap

Yet further.

 

Blotches of sweat

Appeared on his back,

Chest,

Pits.

Needed to calm down.

He left it open

Try again later.

He reached for his mousse

To sculpt his quiff

Though his head was sweating.

The straightened

Blow dried

Hair

collapsed

To reveal

His natural curls

Damp

The more he blow dried

The more he sweats

The more he stresses

The more he sweats

Goddammit

Stop sweating.

Sod the quiff

Slick it back.

His wide

Meaty head

Didn’t suit the slick back

Looked like an ageing wrestler

 

What had he done to himself?

19 and no sign of youth

 

He bent down to tie his shoes

His shirt tightened

And RRRRRIPPED

Right up the back

“AARGH NOO..WHAT THE FUCK??”

He rushed to the mirror

to assess the damage

awful

plus

his slick back

had slunk forward

and frizzed.

“OH FOR FUCKSSAKE!”

Jack

punched the mirror

Enraged

The whole thing shattered

And took his vulgar image with it.

Small mercies.

 

He staggered downstairs

A wreck

Soaked in sweat

Blood

gushing from his fist

He grabbed

two huge tubs of whey protein

From the cupboard and barged out the back door.

 

On his knees

Trousers ruined

Clawing at the muddy lawn

He dug some kind of hole

Opened the protein powder

And poured it in

Shouting

“FUCK YOUUU”

The wind rushed the powder

Billowing all over

Chocolate dust

covered his face

Thick

Held on by sweat.

He cried

And cried

Collapsed in the mud

“WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF?”

 

DING DONG

Heard from inside.

The door bell

Jack

crawled across the garden

clattered through the house

and opened the front door.

 

Jim

Stood

Sleek and slender

Clean and crisp

Taxi waiting

Engine running

Open door

behind him.

 

Jack

A wreck

Shirt

ripped

Trousers

soiled

Hand

bloodied

Sweat

Streaking

through a shocking mask of brown powder.

muscles hulking

veins

throbbing

eyes

weeping

looked at his friend

pathetic.

 

“Jim, what the fuck have I DONE TO MYSELF?”

 

Jim looked back

Astonished

replied

“What the fuck HAVE you done to yourself??”